What Life Is About

[Pocketime]

WOW!!!! that is just AWESOME Pete! My wife at one time were considering a baby girl from China. Then my daughter came along and we felt that three kids were enough. I wil keep you in my prayers and I hope that soon there will be a new member to your family. Congratulations, PT.

[XNavyDrummer]

That's exciting Peter! God bless you and your growing family!

[peter c]

You guys are pouring it on.

[img]redface.gif[/img]

Really... I am the lucky one!

When all is complete, I hope to
post pictures.

The happiest day of my life was
when my son was born and I was
there, with my wife, helping to
deliver him into this world.

Carmen wants us there, she said.
I told her she can change her
mind but I hope she doesn't.

I will be filling you in on all
the details as we count down.

THANKS SO MUCH, GUYS.

[img]smile.gif[/img]

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ June 12, 2004 02:13 AM: Message edited by: peter c ]</font>

[FlamTriplet]

That is great that you are adopting. I was adopted and it seemed to turn out great for me!
Many congratz!
Time to get some diapers.

[Pedro G]

Pete, I think he (she?) will be one of the luckiest human beings to have you as a father.
My best wishes are with you [img]graemlins/sun.gif[/img]
Thanks for sharing [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

[quitou]

ya, best of luck peter...you truly are a special person [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]

[jaudsle]

im currently involved in an absolutely bitter custody dispute and will be filing contempt papers on my childs mother, she is trying to leave the state, and she has been taking alot of my visit time away... I honestly feel im fighting the good fight and i have been praying it wouldnt come to this. I say this because I see love and cooperation in your story from 2 strangers who are focused on the well being of a child and you mirror that with the hostility of a custodial parent to a non custodial parent who have a mutual child and know each other... its sad... im glad to see that it can work the other way.. thanks and God bless

[peter c]

That is sad and I am sorry that it has come to that. Your situation is different.

Now, Carmen's (the present adoption) situation is and will be very 'clean' next to that of my 5-year old's son, whose case is much more complex.

We know her (my son's birthmom) and we had a 'wide-open' relationship, which went too far the other way. The reason I say that is because of the effect it had on my wife - not so much my son. His birthmom was very concerned with her needs and not that of my wife's. She acted to parent him in many ways, subjugating my wife's role. I saw this early on.

It's important that everyone realize that what is right for the child is what is right for his immediate parents. That is the environment that the child will grow up in. If there is a lack of stability there, it will have the more immediate impact on the child. My wife acted and not only in her best interest but in the interest of the entire family and I am proud of her courage.

Mind you, we intend to keep contact with the birthparents but in a much more controlled way.

Let me add that we try never to speak negatively about the birthparents, especially in front of my son.

My wife, like most Americans, it seems, comes from a broken home. Her stories of how hurt she feels after hearing her parents or siblings denegrate each other are powerful. When we attack one or both parents, we attack them AND the child because the child IS both parents. Think about it.

If I could suggest, be as positive about, not only your relationship with your child but also, as hard as it seems, his relationship with his mother's. Do not disparage her in front of them, rather showing compassion and understanding for her desperate acts.

We know, after all, that people love differently, when in different states of mind and disposition.

Be calm around them. Do not give into anger. We, as parents, teach our children how to act, not by what we say but by what we do.

My heart cries out for you in this situation.

Of course, I am sharing my opinion with you and only wish to help.

Please feel free to contact me about anything related.

[img]cool.gif[/img]

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ June 12, 2004 07:06 PM: Message edited by: peter c ]</font>

[Pocketime]

Great words Pete!! PT.

[tombo74]

I wish you all the best Peter!
T